Are you losing your hair?

I saw what must be my favorite advert on the telly. I called up and asked for a booklet on it. the advanced hair studio. Seen it before? Well let me brief you a little on this beauty,

Seems that down south, (Australia and South Africa) infomercial's are as commonplace as melted chocolate. This is a cracking example of gall and guff. A series of sporting celebrities with a follicle shortage (They are bald!) have been happy to put their name to this product. now as a man with a full head of hair (and a fair bit now sprouting from my shoulders!) I am not one who needs this somewhat expensive product. But by jesus is it funny. Graham Gooch the old England Cricketing captain, looking for all intents and purposes like a camp Tom Selleck.. I just don't. understand. Surely they agents and advisors. just how much cash were they offered. The best scene in the video is where Gregg Matthews the ex aussie cricketing legend performs a series of manly active tasks to show just how serious the product is.

He rides a jet ski
he does some judo
he smiles at women
he gets his hair tugged
he does a bit of dancing.

He may have done more. but by this stage the tears where running down my cheek so fast that I was not able to focus on this moment of glory. I was enlightened and I was amused. Probably part of the reason why I couldn't sleep last night. there was just too much hilarity in that advert to let me lie and settle.

So like I say, I called up the toll-free number and ordered an information pack. They sounded very professional on the telephone. Considering the call center was open still at 2am! God Bless them and their kak jobs. Being in a call center sucks. I know I have done it before. Being in a call center at 2am means you probably have a criminal record and its the only job you can get. They didnt even laugh when I used my own variation of the military alphabet.

So Mr Evans, can you give me your postcode. "Sure, that's SE16 6NB" ooh can you repeat the last part..

Sure.. That's"n" for No Hair.... and "B" for bald..

nothing.
not even a raise in the pitch of his voice..
not a titter or a humph
nothing.

I wonder if they have approached Jaques Kallis yet?

Rocking the Daisies Comedy Festival Line up.....

Comedia is bringing the funny back to Rocking the Daisies again this year with our own comedy tent. Somewhere for you to sit, relax and laugh out loud with some of the best comedians in the country.



The line up for the Comedy Tent this year will be subject to change and availability. You can log onto www.comedia.co.za for up to the minute show info, as well as full profiles and info on the acts you saw at this years event. The big blackboard outside the tent will let you know who when and what is on. Keep your eyes peeled for special guest performers. They will be popping up all over the show. The mix of performers at this years festival rank as the country’s best. From international film star comics (District 9), through to the stars of stage, screen, er commercials and sometimes the odd Dance show or two.

The Comedy kicks off on Friday night with the Comedia Late and Live show. The evening shows will be a slightly more risqué affair with comedy not pulling any punches, thrown in with entertainment provided by Black Orchid Burlesque.

Saturday has a full programmed day of entertainment in the Comedy Tent. Kicking off early, like some folks hangovers. So why not have a bit of a healthy meal, a cup of something warm and head down to the comedy tent to enjoy your start to the day. Other than just comedy, The Comedia Comedy Tent will host a series of things to keep you entertained. From Acoustic sets from some of the top artists at the event, through to circus performers and the just plain odd, weird and daft.

This year, we will be introducing a whole bunch of new features to the comedy tent. We will be having our first Alternative Afrikaans Comedy Hour. Exposing, some of the top Afrikaans comics in the country. There will also be an Comedy Improv hour along the lines of “Whose line is it anyway?” This year also see’s the introduction of the the COMEDIA New Comedy Platform. Giving the up and coming comedy acts from across the country the chance to perform at the festival and show you their skills. This year will have the largest gathering of comedians from across South Africa, performing at Rocking the Daisies than any other event ever.

Saturday night will close off with another Comedia Late and Live show. Entertainment and dancing performed, by the Black Orchid Burlesque.

Sunday begins with a easy gentle start to the day. Come down and find a seat for the final show of the fest. The Comedia Best of the Fest, will surely have you in fine spirits for your journey home. With the top acts of the weekend, coming down to do a final set and send you on your way home, filled with the funny.

I wonder if i perhaps have a learning difficulty

Hello kindly people.

I'm not sure what it is with me. Or why i develop such a passion for something to distract me, only to lose interest and find myself wasting my time and efforts on what seems like nothing.

Ive faffed. Ive faffed like my life was just a dream.
In that time i have developed interests in hobbies and pursuits, well not worth pursuing.
So here i sit once again stuck searching ebay for everything from recycled plant pots to soviet life rafts. My plan to ride a motorbike around Europe is just around the corner. I need work. I need gigs, I need to get my arse in gear.

My entire life here in cape town needs to be packed up. Its something that seizes me with terror. The mere thought of having to go through all that bloody paperwork makes me ill. Ive kept receipts for everything.. Oooh i hear you probably not say.. That's a good thing. Well it would be if there was perhaps a system to identify what is utter toss. say the receipt for the milk, versus the VAT receipt i have lost somewhere in teh thousands of bits of paper the truly important stuff.

Oh well.. Its not the end of the world. But moving around the world does need documentation. Something else i lack. My south african passport expired back before Madiba was out there doing the limbo dance at big functions. Its got a picture of me in there from high school. Needless to say its time for an update. Also helping the fact is that the UK now charges for a visa for South African citizens. Due to our Home affairs being in a terrible state of affairs.

Ah bugger. That's an early morning rise to sort that out.

I'm off to bed

Disgruntled from Tunbridge Wells

I find myself getting older.
how do i know this? well my ability to find fault has increased to a dangerous level..

ive started complaining about certain television adverts, ive complained about political parties, and even recently i made my first noise complaint.

with the amount of ear hair that i seem to be growing. i fear it have peaked.
im officially an adult

Coffee Bay New Years Event

i feel dirty. almost used.

For those of you with broadband that doesn't cost more than car parts.
i present my first international work in an advert for nicotine replacement gum.

i am a whore.
see you in a beer commercial shortly.

martin

Never assume you have total bowel control!

I woke up and fed the dog.
She was in a strange mood.
Not sure why?

She licked my feet but wouldn't settle.
Her breath stank.
She was irritable. Angry almost.

What's wrong my wee sweetie?
She wasnt't talking to me!

Then I saw it.
What was it?
Had I cut my foot.
Surely I would have felt that!

Frieda is on heat.
Droplets of life's pure force abound.
who will wash my sofa?
Please dont jump on the bed.

Please god steer her clear of unwanted dog cock.
We are both young and have careers to think of.